Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
Randomize
