The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
