it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Randomize
