We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
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