i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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