hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
