the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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