DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
