i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
