I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
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