I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
