Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
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