the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
