I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
