it was like his penis was on wheels.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
