Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Randomize
