even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
