so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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