The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
he was CRYING into my vagina
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
