I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
