I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
You've changed since you got that strap on
Randomize
