You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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