Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Just pee around me
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
you made out with another girl for some wings
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Randomize
