Having a random hookup so left but love u
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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