Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
