Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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