im gay
i know
yea but for you.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
