those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
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