Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Randomize
