Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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