Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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