I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
