i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
