Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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