Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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