I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
