Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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