I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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