turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
