Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
