i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
