Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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