I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
