dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
