It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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