I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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