Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
Did you just see the Batmobile???
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
