so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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