in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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