Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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