sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
