Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize