Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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