i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
