he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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