I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
