My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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