i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
so much tequila, so little girl.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
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