Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
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