i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
