I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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