He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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