Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
