He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
