So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
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