im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize